I'm a mom

Okay friends.  I know what you're thinking.  It has been a REALLY long time.  I know.  And a lot has happened.  And I have been SO busy.  Lousy excuses.  True.  Anyway, I have been thinking a lot lately about this blog.  Originally my plan was to have this be a resource for people who wanted or needed motivation or just information from someone trying to live a healthy lifestyle.  I have struggled to keep up with it because I'm so busy but also because I sometimes can't decide what to talk about.  If we were having a face-to-face conversation, I promise we'd have no "dead air".  The name of my blog is "The Mommy Athlete".  It's not just the athlete.  I'm a real mom with real mom struggles.  I use my activity to stay sane.  So I'm going to talk about that a little now too.

It has been a rough year.  I have four children, two sons and two daughters.  Both of my sons and my husband have special needs.  They all have ADHD.  Our youngest son was diagnosed two and a half years ago, our older son was diagnosed nearly two years ago.  My husband was diagnosed in between my sons.  As on adult.  That diagnosis helped to explain so many things for him and his struggles through childhood and into adulthood.

It's these diagnoses that have made the last year so rough.  Before school started last year, my husband and I went to meet our youngest son's fifth grade teacher.  We had just had a really rough summer, feeling like the medication our son was on was simply not working and his symptoms seemed to be getting worse.  We were working with our doctor but wanted our son's teacher to know our son's struggles and asked for his patience as we worked through finding something that worked.  I should have trusted my instincts from that first meeting.  I knew it was not a good fit but I deferred to my son's fourth grade teacher and the principal, both of whom I really respect and I know had my son's best interest at heart.  They both agreed that this teacher was our best bet.  I decided to take the wait and see approach.

After trying new medicine, our doctor said he no longer felt comfortable treating our son and recommended he see a child psychiatrist.  We went on a waiting list, knowing it would be about five months.  Our son continued to struggle with focus and compulsion and a myriad of other things.  I started getting regular phone calls from our son's teacher.  The problem was always my son.  The teacher was never the solution.  In fact, in many ways I feel like he made many things worse.  Twice last year I got a phone call from the school's counselor telling my she was afraid that my son might try to hurt himself.  I stopped working with our son's teacher and started working with the principal.  He started working toward getting an IEP (Individual Education Plan--special accommodations for our son run through the Special Education department).  He said we'd need it for the next year when our son went to the intermediate school.  I remember walking into the principal's office one day.  I told him I was there to talk with him because I couldn't talk with my son's teacher without losing my patience.  He was so patient.  He knew we were trying and that my son was trying.  Several times he offered to transfer our son into another teacher's class.  Each time I told him no because our son liked his teacher.  Our son wanted to stay in the class and I wanted to empower him to make that decision.

Finally, after almost seven months of waiting, and when I was to my breaking point, we got a phone call from the child psychiatrist's office.  They had an opening, thank heavens! I will never forget our first meeting.  The doctor emitted an overwhelming feeling that everything was going to be okay.  We tried new medicine.  He gave me some ideas on dealing with my son.  He also told me that I needed to be strong.  After going through lots of testing, we found our son is extremely intelligent.  He told us our son is likely bored in class and that contributes to behavioral issues.  I would have to be his advocate.  I would have to be willing to fight and get angry if necessary.  I needed to be willing to say "Nope.  Try again."  After a particularly rough day at school, we took our son to a scheduled appointment with the doctor.  After telling the doctor about the day, I asked if he felt it was too late in the year (only about six weeks left in the year) to change teachers or if it would have a negative effect on our son.  He told me it was having a far more negative effect keeping him in that class.  Once again, we asked our son what he wanted.  This time he wanted to change.  The principal moved him the next day.

The change that happened in those six weeks still amazes me.  The new teacher was incredible.  Our son loved her and she loved him back.  She didn't let him get away with things and she expected a lot from him, but because she was sincere, he responded.  I can never repay her for that.

I've had people tell me ADHD isn't real.  People have told me that ADHD medication is bad and that it's not good to put children on it.  ADHD is REAL!!! I live with it.  And medication helps.

I would not have survived this last year without running and Spinning and TRX and yoga and strength training.  It has been my sanity.  When I felt like I couldn't take one more thing, I knew I'd get to run in the morning or do yoga or whatever.  Being active has saved me and my family.  When everyone else hit their breaking point with our son, I held on.  I've held on to the inner peace from yoga, the mental strength from endurance running, and "I am strong" from everything else.  I've held on and you can too.

Thanks for checking back in with me.  I know this post is different than any of my other posts but it's real.  It's who I am and what I'm dealing with.  It's part of what connects people because we all have our struggles.  Come back again soon and good luck in your endeavors.