This was not my intention when I started this blog. It was never meant to be a place to vent but since this applies to so many people, I feel that it's appropriate. I'm not okay. People keep asking me that. Initially, I told them that I was, but I'm not. I feel like processing the events of the Boston Marathon is like peeling an onion. I deal with one thing only to find another layer. This morning I went to the gym and turned the TV on while I was on the treadmill. The morning news was showing footage of the finishline. I nearly lost it right there. I pride myself on being a strong person and dealing with the things life throws at me but I am not handling this. I feel violated. Running is my sanctity, my outlet, what makes me a better person and someone I don't know for whatever reason tainted it. I deal with my problems, write papers, receive inspiration while I run and now my safety net has a hole. Every time I toe the line for a race for the rest of my life, Boston 2013 will be in the back of my mind. Why a marathon? Why runners and their supporters? Monday was supposed to be a celebration, the culmination of months of hard work, sacrifice, dedication, discpline. This was a senseless, shameful, cowardly event. I cannot make sense of it and I am struggling. I have found myself in tears off and on all day.
A thanks to the many, many people who have reached out to me and my family. Your thoughts have meant a lot. Please continue to pray for those that have been affected by the tragedy in Boston.
Thanks for checking back with me and come back soon. Hopefully, I'll have a better handle on things next time.
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